Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
