We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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