i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Randomize
