used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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