so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize