She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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