i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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