oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
