I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
