brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
