Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
