why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
