What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Randomize
