I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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