Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
