Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
