That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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