you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Randomize
