never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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