Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
