Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
