I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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