Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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