so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize