At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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