Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
