Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
