also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
