Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
