Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
