billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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