I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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