yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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