It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
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