just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
