so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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