There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Randomize
