"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize
