that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
