haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize