...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
