Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
