Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize