his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
