And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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