YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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