i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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