i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
