i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
