Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
