How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
