Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Its about making memories worth repressing
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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