we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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