its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
