No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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