i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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