I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
