you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Panties = found
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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