And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
