she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
